Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left.

He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap onto a pile of hay.

"What the hell are you doing Mick?" says Paddy.

"Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me", says an obviously embarrassed Mick, "but me and the missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor".